Monday, 20 June 2016

I Regret Nothing..

So, in case you haven't heard..I complain about college..a lot. I complain about how much I hate it there..I complain about the people there..I complain about how shitty the rolls are and how I can't eat anything but the soup..the soup is everything. I've been kind of sailing through this year thinking "I don't hate social care at all, everything I thought I wanted is a pile of crap but, I'm too scared to leave..surprise work placement oh God". And then I actually did some studying for my summer exams, passed and am now finishing up my first work placement. And it's fucking amazing.

You know that feeling when you've been staring at someone's plate of food, and after what feels like forever they finally offer you some but, then they decide they're actually full and you get to eat their leftovers? It's like that but, less gross. Actually no, it's been kind of gross.

So yeah, I've had people throw up on me, sneeze on me, splash me with river water and mud and bleed on me whilst I tried to remember my shitty first aid. But to combat that, I've had people actually tell me they appreciate what I've done for them. It could be something, as huge (for me) as leading a whole group of people through town, without anyone dying or something as little as spending an hour and twenty minutes teaching someone how to recognise the letter "B", but it's huge for some people. The actual look on their faces when they've achieved something they've wanted, is so heartwarming. To be honest, it makes me cry a little.

I've always had a kind of maternal side to me. People don't leave the house without hoodies or get away with not letting me know they've got home safe. It's something that's probably bugged friends of mine for years. But now, that side of me is actually praised and I'm told "We need more like you". That's pretty crazy.

I guess what I'm trying to, badly, say is, it's nice to feel part of something bigger. Sure, I've only been working for just over 2 months but, the things myself and other's have done and taught are skills and memories that'll exist within other people for weeks, months or even years to come. And I think that's pretty sweet.

Sorry, I just had to go on a little ramble about how happy I am. For once, I regret nothing.

~Zoe

PS; I've also been offered work in Canada which is actually insane.