I've discussed a lot of personal topics on this blog but, one thing I've tried to purposely overlook and never really went into much detail about was sexuality. More specifically, my sexuality. There's been a lot of confusion over what I label myself as. Some of my friends, label me as bisexual. The other half, label me as straight. A few people from my family, think I'm a lesbian. Isn't it great to have so many people concerned with what I want inside of me and what I don't? Sorry for the graphic visual but, apparently that's what it comes down to. Unfortunately, it's never been that simple for me.
I would love to stand up in front you all and say "Yeah, I'm straight" or "Fuck yeah, I'm a lesbian", or whatever. For the past two years or so, I honestly didn't care what I was. In my mind, I was free from labels and free to love who I wanted to love. But then, people started questioning me.
I have a group of male friends. The majority of them are straight. They like girls. I too like girls. If they're talking about girls, I'm going to join in. I have some female friends who are all either straight or bisexual. When they talk about guys, I'm going to talk about guys because, I like them too. And everyone was fine with that. Until lately, when someone voiced that they didn't know how to phrase something because, they didn't know if I identified as a lesbian or not. So, I replied that I wasn't a lesbian, and proceeded to try to explain what sexual orientation I was. It was a lot harder than I thought it'd be.
So, for the past few days I've been researching different types of sexuality, trying to find something that matches me. So far, I've come up with, bisexual (which I've been avoiding labeling myself as for quite some time), polysexual, and pansexual (or gender-blind). They are the closest I can get to how I feel. But here's the fun part. I don't fit any of those! So after, a lot of careful thought and consideration, I've come to the conclusion...who the fuck cares. I'm 19. I don't need your boundaries and labels. I'm like Legolas but, I'm...Labeless? Labelas? What? I just hope the LGBT society at college will accept that.
Well that didn't clear up anything at all. Maybe, some ignorance. Who knows. But, there you have it ladies, gents and everyone in between. I have "come out". Kinda. Maybe?
Side note; This is our 69th post. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Sex.