Monday, 31 August 2015

Coming Out

I've discussed a lot of personal topics on this blog but, one thing I've tried to purposely overlook and never really went into much detail about was sexuality. More specifically, my sexuality. There's been a lot of confusion over what I label myself as. Some of my friends, label me as bisexual. The other half, label me as straight. A few people from my family, think I'm a lesbian. Isn't it great to have so many people concerned with what I want inside of me and what I don't? Sorry for the graphic visual but, apparently that's what it comes down to. Unfortunately, it's never been that simple for me.

I would love to stand up in front you all and say "Yeah, I'm straight" or "Fuck yeah, I'm a lesbian", or whatever. For the past two years or so, I honestly didn't care what I was. In my mind, I was free from labels and free to love who I wanted to love. But then, people started questioning me.

I have a group of male friends. The majority of them are straight. They like girls. I too like girls. If they're talking about girls, I'm going to join in. I have some female friends who are all either straight or bisexual. When they talk about guys, I'm going to talk about guys because, I like them too. And everyone was fine with that. Until lately, when someone voiced that they didn't know how to phrase something because, they didn't know if I identified as a lesbian or not. So, I replied that I wasn't a lesbian, and proceeded to try to explain what sexual orientation I was. It was a lot harder than I thought it'd be.

So, for the past few days I've been researching different types of sexuality, trying to find something that matches me. So far, I've come up with, bisexual (which I've been avoiding labeling myself as for quite some time), polysexual, and pansexual (or gender-blind). They are the closest I can get to how I feel. But here's the fun part. I don't fit any of those! So after, a lot of careful thought and consideration, I've come to the conclusion...who the fuck cares. I'm 19. I don't need your boundaries and labels. I'm like Legolas but, I'm...Labeless? Labelas? What? I just hope the LGBT society at college will accept that.

Well that didn't clear up anything at all. Maybe, some ignorance. Who knows. But, there you have it ladies, gents and everyone in between. I have "come out". Kinda. Maybe?

~Zoe

Side note; This is our 69th post. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Sex.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Quick, Update, Chat...Thing

Let's all just take a deep breath and prepare our butts for what will probably be a very ranty and poorly punctuated blog. The past few days have pretty much been an emotional rollercoaster for me. It's just really hard to think of what to say. I feel like I have so much to talk about but, so little at the same time.

I guess the big shocker for me for me was getting into college. Again. I'm going to be studying social studies, which will (hopefully) take me where I want to go in life. Big shout out to everyone who's been a complete asshole to me all year for saying I'd never do anything. Not pointing any fingers or anything. I wanted to put a RuPaul quote here but, I figured it'd be inappropriate since it involves kissing flaming...lady bits.

Second thing I was thinking about, is starting a new blog for fiction writing. I want to get back into writing fiction but, I was never really one for putting my work out there for people to read. I was considering it for a while but, I'm still not sure. Knowing me it'd take me forever to update it. If it's something people would be interested in following, let me know by leaving a comment or message me on Facebook or just tweet me about it. I'll have a think about it anyway.

Last thing for now, I just wanted to thank you all for always being so lovely and supportive of what I do. The blog has reached an overwhelming amount of views and I know it's because some of you have been sharing my stuff around. I love getting all your messages and stuff and if you ever have an idea for something you'd like me to write about, don't ever be afraid to let me know.

That's really all I have for you guys, now. If all goes to plan, there should be better stuff to come!

~Zoe

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

The Result of Your Results

Hey guys. This isn't really a planned post, as you can probably tell. It's just with all the "good luck to everyone getting their results", statuses on Facebook, the Leaving Cert results have been playing on my mind. I'm not getting exam results this year but, I am waiting to see if I have a place in college or not and I'm really nervous about that. I know that, a lot of you getting results are going to be feeling that feeling of excitement, dread, nerves and "can we just get it over with already?". The thing that's bothering me is all the "everyone will pass with flying colours" talk.

I'm not here to bullshit you. That's not my style. Anyone who knows me, knows that I pretty much voice whatever is one my mind. You're going to get the results you earned. That's the reality of it. Nobody is going to be 100% happy with their results. (Unless you get all A1s, then go you!)

When I say, "I'm not here to bullshit you", I mean that so, just trust me. The result of your results (hehe) really isn't the foundation that your whole life is going to be built on. They're a great stepping stone, but they're not the soul base of what you can do with your life. Take it from someone who's applied for college twice. If you don't get it this year, there's always next year. Take a year out to discover yourself. If you don't get it next year, go live your life for a few years and try again as a mature student. Bottom line is, if you want it bad enough you'll go out and get it no matter what.

You don't have to go to college or become an apprentice or get a job or whatever society tells you what you should be doing, right now. You're still a teenager. The world is your oyster, so don't panic. So many opportunities for adult education are available these days, and it's amazing. So don't feel like your entire life depends on how well you do in your teens because, it really doesn't.

I do, of course, wish everyone waiting for exam results or college offers the very best of luck. If you get everything you wanted, great job, go party. If you don't, try again, and party anyway. You're only young once and you have all the time in the world to work this stuff out.

Best wishes to everyone

~Zoe