Monday, 25 August 2014

Breaking the Silence of the Hill

Sitting here, in my newly threw together office, something told me to check my stats on here. May I ask who is still coming back here and why am I still getting views? Don't think I'm ungrateful, I just find it strange. I have no idea what it that told me to come back. Maybe it was pure boredom or the girl from the Silent Hill PT. I haven't been able to look at my bathroom in the same way. It also doesn't help that my desk is situated next to a mirror. Thanks, Kid, thanks a lot.

The transition from secondary school to college life, hasn't been fun. I'm already tired of getting post and worrying about registration days, grants and whether or not I'm even going to enjoy college life. My biggest fear, however, is facing it alone. If you know me in real life, you'll know that I'm not the most likable person in the world. I know it and you know it. I'm not very good at making friends. Almost every friend I've ever made has been a friend of someone else. I've been working on ways to try and boost my confidence over the summer but, it hasn't really worked.

I can't help but wonder, if this is the start of everything. My mother was told, by a fortune teller, that I would "surprise the family" by finding a career "that will make her very happy" and apparently I'm going to make lots of money from it. Obviously, I don't believe this. I mean, look at me. The only shred of hope that I have is Michael McIntyre's mother was told something similar, at a fortune teller before he was born. Despite not believing in this, part of me wants to be the girl from the Meteor advertisement; "I have an IQ of 200...I sold my game for 17 million". That girl. I only have an IQ of 120 so I don't think I'll be turning into her anytime soon. I am planning on doing games development, so I guess you never know.

I don't know why thinking about Silent Hill made me write this. Maybe I'm breaking the Silence of the Hill? That makes logical sense, I swear. (My surname is "Hill" for all you Twitter people). I haven't even titled this post yet. God knows what I'll come up with. I'm kind of tempted to play it now, simply because of all the hilarious one liners I came up with whilst watching friends of mine play. Hehehehehe.

I wish everyone the best of luck in the up and coming academic year, whether you're still in school, or shitting yourself about college or uni like I am.

~Zoe

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Stressy Pants, Messy Pants

I'm not normally someone who gets stressed out easily. Things like exams, college, money, have never phased me. Normal things. I can easily see why these things may be seen as stressful for some but, not for me. I am, what I like to call, a "stress sponge". If you think about a sponge, it's pretty light when it's new and clean, or whatever. Add a tiny splash of water. Still light enough. Keep adding water, and you'll end up with a soggy, heavy mess. That is kinda what I am like with stress. Me, being the sponge, and stress, being the water.

Lately, I've been feeling very odd. I want to say I'm stressed but, I'm not really. I don't know what is "stressing" me out. I've been sick for the past two weeks. The first week, with a tummy bug and the second with some form of mild pneumonia. It hasn't been a fun time. I'm fine by the way, thanks to everyone that asked. I suppose mainly, I've been feeling very isolated. Sort of used in a way. People just seem to want to take advantage in any way they can. Family, "friends", people I speak to online..everybody. I haven't left the house in ages because, I'm last on a lot of people's guest lists. Yes, I am feeling sorry for myself. No one else does.

As someone who suffers from depression, I've never been good at picking myself up or taking my own advice. I figured that, if I can't help myself, I could maybe help some of you. I know exam results are coming and that can be a stressful time, for some. So sit down children, it's story time.

Once upon a time, there was a woman. Let's call her...Annie. Annie, was a stay at home mum, looking after her children whilst her husband worked. All of Annie's friends had jobs. They told Annie that she was wasting her time just staying at home and would be able to enjoy herself more, if she had her own income. Annie thought long and hard about this, and decided that she would get a job.

Annie would have to leave for work at 7am, along with her husband, to go to work, leaving her 12 year old son and 5 year old daughter to fend for themselves each morning. She would arrive home at 4 each evening, cook dinner,do the chores, take her son to football training, and come home again at about 9 o'clock to find her 5 year old daughter asleep. She's already have completed her homework and laid her clothes out for the next day, on her own.

This went on for about 5 months. Annie was feeling very sad and stressed out at work. Sure, she was making extra money but, she rarely got to see her family. She decided to quit her job and return to being a full time housewife, much to the disappointment of her friends. However, Annie didn't care because, she was happy to be back with her family.

The End.

So, I guess the moral of the story is, if something is stressing you out or, upsetting you, instead of moping and worrying about it, just deal with it and get rid of the problem. There's a random saying I heard, that says, "You better check yourself before you mess yourself". I'm not sure it's a legit saying, in fact I'm pretty sure it isn't, but the point is that you need to take a step back, check to see what's bothering you and fix it before you let it take over and ruin your good times. I'm pretty sure that's not how the saying is meant to be used either, but, hey.

~Zoe

Saturday, 2 August 2014

Short Update

First of all, I wanted to apologise for the lack of writing over the past week or so. I decided to do a tiny update just to let you know what is going on with me and more importantly, this blog.

First of all, I've been busy sorting out things for my graduation. I've been doing endless amounts of shopping. So much so I'm actually sick of it.

Secondly, I've been sorting out things for my upcoming YouTube channel. God knows, I'm struggling with it. Apparently, the set up I've been building up for the past couple of months, has rendered itself useless when I actually need it. So, I've been working on and trying to save up money for that.

Lastly, my health is a big issue for me lately. After getting over my last illness (which was a complete pain in the neck) I'm now stuck with, breathing issues, fatigue, random fits of being cold and aching. I've been pretty much useless over the past week because, I've spent a majority of the time in bed. Apparently, it's "walking pneumonia". What does that even mean?!

So that's basically, that's what's been happening. I have some plans for future posts and a big project I'm hoping to start soon as soon as I can find a team to help me.

Bye for now,

~Zoe