Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Christmas 102: Christmas Crafts

Hello merry people. I haven't done anything really crafty on here before so I decided to show you how to make your very on mini Santa. Please keep in mind that I am not an artistic person or a perfectionist. I also completely made this up as I went along. What you are about to see may be distressing to young readers.

What you bitches gon' need

All this shit:

 Cardboard toilet roll holder thing
Red and white paint
Paint brush
Black and red markers
Cotton wool
Sellotape
Scissors
Cue tip
Paper clips
A4 page



Step 1:
Paint about 3/4 of the cardboard roll red and the other 1/4 a pale pink colour. Leave to dry well before moving onto the next step.

 Step 2:
Draw a large circle onto the A4 sheet and cut it out. If you are under 12 or very clumsy, get an adult to help you. I can't afford to be sued.











Step 3: 
Fold the circle into quarters and make a cone-ish shape with it. If you do Biology or Science, it's basically like preparing filter paper. Now, measure the cone against the cardboard roll to make sure the "hat" fits properly.

 Step 4:
Paint yo hat red gurl. Leave to dry completely.

 Step 4:
Secure the hat to the cardboard roll using sellotape, glue or a paperclip.

 Step 5: 
Glue on the cotton wool to the hat for the "fur" effect. (Faux fur I hope). If you're using liquid glue, I'd recommend applying it with a cue tip or an old paintbrush.

 Step 6:
Add the finishing touches, such as a cotton wool beard and eyes. I wanted mine to look slightly derpy so I added some wonky eyes and flushed cheeks.
I must admit I had a lot of fun making that. I gave it to my mother and told her my 4 year old nephew made it. If you do try and make one I'd love to see it! You can message me a picture through my Facebook page; clicketh me

Now, for today's holiday (or should I say holidays) it is "let's hug day" and "make a gift day". So I guess a picture of a derpy cardboard Santa is my gift to you, and I send you cyber hugs and kisses.

Only 22 days to go guys!

~Zoe

Sunday, 1 December 2013

Christmas 101: Writing The List

Happy December. everybody! It's that time of the year where people sneeze on you, complain about being chapped and Santa dedicates himself to riding around in a Coca Cola truck. Christmas is just around the corner and I thought now would be a good time to write my letter to Santa. I really am going to try to get in the festive spirit this year...

Dear Santa,
                   Believe it our not, I have no idea what I want for Christmas this year. Maybe something along the lines of a PS4 or Nintendo DS would be good. Or a new TV. Preferably HD because Heavy Rain looks like an old lady's ass. Could you try get your hands on a new Beatles t-shirt because my mother ruined the one I had with the iron. How about a yellow Freddie Mercury jacket, so I can look like a bad ass mental patient. That'd be awesome. Also could you give my uncle a less annoying laugh? It's really distracting me from writing this.
                  Have you ever located that pony I asked you for when I was five? Or my Johnny Gat Pez dispenser? Could you stop the Yogscast livestream from lagging? No? Ok. Where's my hot boyfriend? Dammit Santa you suck!
                  In all seriousness though, I don't really think I want anything for Christmas. The last two Christmases we had, were kinda sad to be honest. I guess I'm just happy to have my family and friends this year. I'm happy to be able to move on from all the people who've done wrong by me this year and finally just be happy.
                As a gift to you Santa, I recommend you watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WbA3N4_gHM I had a cuteness overload.

                Lot's of love and happy Christmas,
                                                       ~Zoe

PS; Today is also AIDS awareness day. I think we should celebrate another holiday, everyday, until Christmas!

Sunday, 3 November 2013

The Anit-Bucket List

All of you are probably familiar with the concept of a bucket list- the list you make of things you want to do before you die. I have a fairly long bucket list at the moment, that I am no where near finished. However, re-reading my bucket list I realized that a lot of the things I want to do, I will probably never do because they are either too complicated or I'm too..well, scared.

So here it is, the list of things on my bucket list that I will probably never do;

1. Skydive.
As much as I'd like to brag about the fact that I jumped out of a helicopter and fell through the sky, I'm never going to do that. I get scared going down an escalator. I'm not going to jump and possibly fall to my death, willingly. Plus. my mother would never allow it.

2. Record a single for a charity
I love donating  to charities when I can but, I can't sing. I had my charities chosen for this and everything. Honestly, I don't think I'd raise much.

3. Build a snowman at the North Pole
I don't even know what I was thinking with that one.

4. Learn to play guitar/piano
I am not musical at all. I can play Mary Had A Little Lamb, and that's about as far as I can go, musically.

5. Be a birthing partner.
I have fears of having my own children. As long as I don't have to look, maybe I could pull this off. I don't really want to watch you squeeze that..thing, out of you.

6. Read something by Charles Dickens
I just wanted to do that to seem smart OK?

That would be my reaction to Dickens. Heh, look at that f-ing cat.











7. Change my name
Once again, my mother would never allow it.

So there you have it. 7 things isn't so bad I guess, considering there's 126 things on it with more to come. I shall leave you with some Cyanide and Happiness.

~Zoe




Saturday, 26 October 2013

Feel Good With Zoe: How You Look and Why It Doesn't Matter

HELLO! Welcome to this new..series..type thing..that I'm doing. I am here to make you feel better about yourself. Well try anyway, I can't work miracles. I am here to make you feel more confident. Just don't become an arrogant prick. That's never fun. I'm going to try and shove a truck-full of confidence, down your...face..hole. That sounds highly unpleasant. Let's begin.

And today's topic is, how you look and why it doesn't matter.

I can not wait to get started on this topic, so I'm just going to jump right into it. *splash*
Now you, look at me. Well you can't really look at me but just..try. 

It doesn't matter what you look like. Honestly. Stop groaning at me. Now if you want this to work, stay with me and do as I say. I want you to get a pen and some paper and write down a list of things you don't like about your appearance. Go on..scram. I'll be waiting. Damn it, I'm trying to help you here!

*********************************************************************************
So, if you actually give a shit, you should have a list of things you do not like about yourself. I'm going to guess you have things written like, "I think I'm fat" "I have spots" "I'm just not as attractive as my friends". It is OK to have things you do not like about yourself. Everybody does. It is not OK, however, to let these things get you down. That is what you've been given, and you just have to suck it up and work with it. 

Now, I want you to look back over your list and answer this; how many of these "flaws", will stop you getting good grades at school? How many of those things will stop you getting into the college or career you want? How many of those things are making you unhappy right now? The answer to the first two questions is probably none of them. I don't know the answer to the third question but, what I do know is, you have the power to get rid of that negativity and stop these minor things making you unhappy because, they do not matter. 

It's human nature to not like ourselves. We want to be attractive to other people. Society wants us to not like ourselves and we are supposedly "arrogant" if we do. What you see in the mirror, is just a shell. A shell to protect the real you, which is inside that shell. Does that make sense? It did in my head. What you see in that mirror, will not get you through life. Going back to the "wanting to be attractive" thing, we all want someone who "loves me for who I am and not what I look like". Why do you care about being physically attractive to people then? Looking good makes us feel more confident. Lies. Looking in the mirror and accepting what we look like that day, gives us confidence. 

Your friend comes up to you and says, "I feel so ugly today". You don't think that. You love your friend and they are beautiful to you. Well guess what Sunshine, your friend thinks that same thing about you. Other people do not see you, the way you see yourself. You're not ugly, you damn fine.

What I am trying to say is, everyone wants to be pretty and attractive to be loved and adored by other humans. That's it. There is no such thing as an ugly person because, it is what is inside you that will get you through life, and that's all that really matters. 

I hope this helped you in some way. I know it'd kind of ranty, but go away its late. I hope you can feel that truck of confidence, ramming it's way..inside you. I'm going to need to find a new tagline for this series...

~Zoe

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Welcome, to The World of Gaming

The gaming world is a complex place, with all different types of gamers. You've got the hardcore gamers, the casual gamers, rage gamers, boy/girl gamers..whatever. There's a lot of speculation of how playing video games on a regular bases will ruin your social life, your school life, your relationships etc. My mother was never happy with my gaming habits but, I had a reason for it. I didn't have any friends.

I've had a lot of games and consoles in my time but one memory stands out for me. I was about 12 or 13 and had just started secondary school, which I hated. I had no friends, my grades were off the wall terrible and I was terribly unhappy. I had some money spare and decided to buy an Nintendo Wii, (shut up, I can hear you groaning) and because there was a deal on at the time, I got "Animal Crossing; Let's Go To The City" for free. At the time, I didn't even know what "Animal Crossing" was. For those of you who are unfamiliar, basically you're the only human in a town full of talking animals, (yay for bestiality), and you run around, customizing your character, celebrating in-game holidays etc. I instantly fell in love with this game.

The highlight of my day was, getting home from school as quickly as possible so I could just play for the rest of the evening. Every time I entered the game, the town folk would come visit me or I'd visit them and they'd tell me how happy the were to see me, or ask for my help with something. It sounds really pathetic now but, I'd been playing for almost 2 years at this point, and for the first time I felt like I had friends and I was actually appreciated. (STOP JUDGING ME).

Eventually, I got my PS3 and was introduced to online gaming. I hate online gaming. Mainly because everyone is an asshole. You can instantly tell by my gamer tag that I am a girl, and if you enter a game with a group of boys, the abuse you get is shocking. I used to get it in COD, until I just gave up playing it altogether, but now, I can't even play GTA online anymore. GTA online, lets me hear other people in the chat but they can't hear me unless I use a mic. But of course, they know I'm a girl just by my name. (No, my tag is not UnicornDaiseys12 but still). Basically what happened was, I could here the guys talking about how there was a girl in the session, and I started joking to my boyfriend about how they would track me down and gang rape me. They actually did in the end. (Well not rape me, but they did track me down). Long story short, these guys hunted me down and repeatedly killed me. And because GTA online is a buggy piece of shit, it was the only session I could get into. Also I was too stubborn to go into passive mode. This is why girls don't like you boy gamers. You want us to play with you, and when we do you don't even let us play.

However, I did carry my team through a last team standing match, so I guess I have that to be proud of.

~Zoe


Friday, 20 September 2013

Homework? What Homework?

I have spent the past 12 years or so, of my life in school. As you may know, during your school life you are expected to do homework and all that fun stuff. I am that student who will always do the homework unless I genuinely couldn't do it, or if the rest of the class isn't doing it. I don't always do it to the best of my ability but hey, I'm lazy. During my life spent in education I have heard some of the best excuses for not having homework done. Seriously. I've heard excuses so insane, that I think the teacher excepted it because they thought the student might be having a nervous break down.

Some of my favorite excuses are; "I accidentally gave the sheet to my hamster as bedding", "I fell asleep because I was studying" and "my sister fell down the stairs and we had to take her to casualty". All legit excuses. I remember once, almost everyone used the "my printer broke" excuse, because no one had their project done. The teacher excepted the same excuse from everyone. How awesomely retarded is that?

I am normally quite good at not getting punished for having no homework. Apparently it's because I have an "innocent" look. Do I really? How innocent is it to say "sorry Sir I don't have my homework done because *insert name of other teacher here* gave us a 5 page essay". I've actually used that excuse. If you watch and listen carefully, you will notice what teachers like each other and which don't. Use the name of a teacher you know your other teacher doesn't like. All you have to do is hope they think "yeah he/she is a bitch".

What I admire is the students who manage to come up with a different excuse almost everyday but, it's so amazingly detailed, you can't help but believe it. I just sit there and wonder "how do they come up with this and would it work for me". I know people who teacher's just can not give out to. Nobody knows why. Teachers just can not bring themselves to punish these students. I want some of that. They could probably be hanging out the windows and they still wouldn't get in trouble. Think about it. I bet everyone knows one of these students.

I am also that person who puts all the homework off until the last minute. I should be doing homework right now..










I should probably be studying too. This year does determine the rest of my life and all...Oh well.

~Zoe

PS; We've hit over 900 views..WHAAAAAAAT?!

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

I'm Not Dead Guys

S'up. I'm not dead :) Sorry I haven't been writing so much lately but, returning to school has taken a lot out of me. I guess I still need to get back into my routine that never existed. I've actually had a pretty traumatic time lately. Look at this shit;














I actually broke my GameBoy. Apparently they don't like falling from shelves about 7 foot from the ground. I actually tried to duct tape it back together. That is just my logic. "Hey guys the screen is completely snapped off *tapes screen back on* WHY ISN'T SHE WORKING?!" Needless to say, I am totally heart broken.

On the topic of school, I've spent my time studying W.B Yeats. Although his poetry is quite fun to read, when you actually look at it you realize he does not stop whining. We get it you're old and sad. I also had my geography field study today, which actually does not involve a field. Basically all I did was throw a ball in water. Welcome to 6th year geography everyone. You learn to drop your balls.

This is probably the most pointless post I've ever done. I will get some decent stuff out eventually..JUST STOP NAGGING ME GUYS.

Much love

~Zoe

Thursday, 29 August 2013

What A Girl Wants

When you are friends with a group of boys like I am, eventually the day will come when you realise that their behavior changes. They'll start talking about more "guy related" topics and this is when you get that feeling that you are now "one of the guys". If your are an abnormal girl like me, you will be quite happy to be accepted by your peers. Occasionally, you can start to miss being treated like a girl. I've spoken to a few friends of mine and apparently, this can happen when you find yourself in a long term relationship. So for all you boys out there who have friends you feel like romancing or your relationship with your girlfriend is getting a bit old, then never fear. Zoe is here to help you. I don't expect you to know exactly what your girl wants. She's confusing. She's probably even confused by herself at times.But, I know what I want. I am a woman..I've read 3 books..and I'm a woman. So today, we are going to talk about the most popular things that girls (and I personally) like for there man/boy to do.

1. Show an interest in us
It's not the hardest thing in world. Most girls love talking about their lives or their friends, so don't be afraid to ask a few questions. Get to know us. If we say we're feeling a certain way or thinking about something, show and interest in that. We care what you're thinking. Unless it's about football. Then you can fuck off.

2. Acknowledge special occasions
Don't forget your anniversary. Or her birthday. You don't need to buy her stuff, just show her you remembered. Don't start creeping on her mother's Facebook page so you can wish her a happy birthday. That's weird.

3. Be confident in yourself
I don't mean, be a vain asshole. Nobody's perfect. Don't start comparing yourself to her or thinking you're not good enough for her. She likes you. You don't want to put down stuff she's really into. Confidence is good.

4. Acknowledge her
Girls love when the guy speaks first. If you see her out and about at least say hi to her. If you're in a group of people, you don't need to stop your conversation and start worshiping her. Just giver her a smile to let her know you're happy to see her.

5. Taking forever to reply
This, personally, drives me up the wall. If I'm texting you, don't take an hour to reply to each message. I'm taking time out of my day to talk to you. I want to talk to you. One word answers. Ugh. Stop killing my conversation.

6. Give her as much as she gives you
It's not going to work if one person is left pulling all the weight in a relationship. This could be either the boy or girl. Make time for her. If she gives you little compliments, accept them and giver her one back. Make some effort. It's not fair if the relationship is split 20/80.

So yeah, do that shit. Get that girl you want or, look after the one you have. Going on the theme from last time, life's too short. *Yolo mode* (I need to stop doing that)

~Zoe

Thursday, 22 August 2013

Existential Crisis

Hello internet. I am a 17 year old girl and I have hit that stage in my life where people say, "Oh you're doing your Leaving Cert this year? What do you plan on doing after school?" Normally, I would brush this off and say I want to do psychology and become some sort of counsellor. But today my out look on life completely changed. Do you want to know what caused it? I received my school journal.

This year in our school journal, they have a page that tells you what points you will get for each grade in the Leaving Certificate exams. So, I decided to try and estimate how many points I could get, based on my average grades at the moment. I'm not going to lie, they were higher than I expected. But before you start saying "but Zoe, you still have another year left, the Leaving Cert will be different from the exams you're doing now", I am already aware of this. Honestly, I don't think I will get my estimated points. The point is, after I got my estimate, I went online to look for college courses I could do. And finally we get to the point of this blog; I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I believe what I am going through, is known as, an existential crisis. Not only do I not know what I want to do with my life, I am starting to believe that I may not have a purpose and there may not be a reason for my existance. I have spent the past few days, worrying about completely stupid things and trying to decide what path I would like to take in life. Instead of being mature and thinking extremely hard about it, I sat in a corner for a few hours and tried to tell myself that I have nothing to worry about.

I am a big believer in doing what makes you happy. However, I don't think I can do what makes me happy because, I don't think playing games, drawing fan art and watching animes, counts as a profession. On a serious note, the only thing that I can imagine doing for a job that would make me happy is acting. I love anything got to do with writing or filming or directing (telling people what to do). Ever since I was a kid, I always wanted to work in the film industry. Here comes the problem with that. I am incredibly shy, when it comes to preforming in front of people. I desperately wanted to try out for my school play this year but, I was too shy to audition. It was, of course, a fabulous production. I just wish that I would have been confident enough, to be a part of it.

I will leave you with something to think about. Why do something that makes you unhappy? Who cares what anyone else thinks? No one can live your life except you. Do what makes YOU happy. You only get one life, you may as well live it how you want. #YOLO bitches. (Can't believe I just said that)

~Zoe

Friday, 16 August 2013

Things You Didn't Know About Me

S'up guys. Today, I was totally stuck for a blog idea. So I decided to tell you some stuff you may or may not know about me (depending on how close we are). Okay, so I just typed "things you didn't know about me" into Google. I don't know why. I found these completely random question things that I'm going to answer for fun. I haven't even read through them yet so this could be a complete disaster.

1. Name one person who made you smile today: 
Ummm...my Dad. Just cause he can.

2. What were you doing at 8 am this morning: 

Sleeping :)

3. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? 

Eating? Either that or playing the Playstation.

4. What is your favorite chocolate bar? 

Probably, Galaxy. 

5. Have you ever been to a strip club? 
Nooooooo

6. What is the last thing you said aloud? 
"F**KING FLY GET AWAY FROM ME YOU ****"

7. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? 

Hmm..Ben and Jerry's Phish Food

8. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Tea <3 

9. Do you like your wallet? 

I would if I could afford the stuff I want

10. What was the last thing you ate? 

Bread?

11. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?

No :( 

12. The last sporting event you watched? 

Some chicks running.

13. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? 

Salted..lots of salt :3

14. Who is the last person you sent a text message too?

Thomas :L 

15. Ever go camping? 

Several times. I always pick the worse weather for it.

16. Do you have a tan? 

No, I'm so pale but I have the classic Irish freckle shit going on.

17. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? 

Yes 

18. What did your last text conversation say?

Something I can't repeat.. 

19. Look to your left, what do you see? 

A wall. OMG. PUNCH MY IN DA DICK. (lol Pom you so silly)

20. What color is your watch? 

White

21. What do you think of when you hear Australia?

They ban everything fun. 

22. What is your birthstone? 

June. Alexandrite..I'm currently wearing a necklace of it.

23. What is your favorite number? 

4..just cause

24. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? 

Big group conversation ma boys.

25. Last song listened to? 

Obsession by Innerpartysystem 

26. Can you say the alphabet backwards 

Yes, if you have 45 minutes to spare.

27. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? 

Black All Star Converse

28. Are you jealous of anyone? 

Not really

29. Is anyone jealous of you? 

I wouldn't think so.

30. Do you love anyone? 

My dog Tammy. More than anything <3

31. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? 

No, I made amends with them.

32. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? 

Yes, to my mother to announce my arrival for food.

33. Do you like cats? 

I despise in real life but, I love internet cats.

34. Are you thinking about someone right now? 

Yes :)

35. How did you get your worst scar? 

I don't think I have any.

So, there you go. 35 completely random things about me, that you probably didn't know or care about. Oh well, I love doing stuff like this :) 

~Zoe

Ps; I may or may not redo this post. I haven't decided yet.

Monday, 12 August 2013

Let's Get Intimate (Celebrations)

Hey you little sons of bitches, guess who just turned 3 months old! We did you little munchkins! Well, I have been knocking around for a while but, I only really started taking this blogging thing seriously (lol) for the last 3 months. Yay! I did it Mom.

Anyway, for this entry I decided to do something a little different; Not talk about games or complain! Hooray! Instead, I decided we could get a little intimate. Would you like that? Yeah, I bet you would. So let's talk about my bucket list. What's your problem? What were you expecting? God..

There are 126 things on my list of things I would like to do before I die, and I have completed 19 of them. I have a long way to go because, the list has been getting longer in my head. I thought I would share some of the things I have done, and then a few of the more crazier ones I have yet to do. Of course, there's boring stuff like "get married", "learn to drive" etc, but who gives a shit about that? No one.

Some of the things I have done include, preform on stage, get blood taken (never again, I don't care if I'm dying), climb the Eiffel Tower, go to Disneyland and do a live webcast. My webcast was taken down from the site. Then people ask me why I don't make YouTube videos. That's why. Also I've petted an elephant. Aw yeah.

Things I have yet to do include, visit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, bleed a radiator (so manly), visit every continent, and jump into a river or lake fully clothed just to see my mother's reaction. I do want to do a lot of weird stuff. Why do I want to shake hands with a gorilla or own an ostrich? Why? The worst part is that if I ever did own an ostrich, I'd call it Gary.














Also, my friend Thomas has just started blogging, so maybe you sexy people would like to check him out? You can check him out here. Also don't forget I'm on FacebookTwitter and Tumblr. Check me out and you can feel like this..



Thank you guys so much for reading, it means a lot to me :)
~Zoe


                 
        

Monday, 5 August 2013

Sexy, Tiny, 2.6 Update

Hey you guys. Time for a tiny little update. I'm headed for Cork tomorrow for a couple of days so, there will probably be no blog! I am filming the trip (as I mentioned before) so you can look forward to my Youtube debut (if everything goes to plan).

I have a fantastic idea for an entry, which was meant to be up a few days ago but, I need to take photos outside and I wasn't able to manage that with all the rain! I do plan to knuckle down on that when I get back. It may or may not involve zombies ;)

See ya'll when I get back!

~Zoe

Thursday, 1 August 2013

Lazy Summer

I don't think I was the only one who thought they would have a productive summer. I, however, always promise myself that I will be productive and prepare myself for the school year ahead. This never happens. I always end up putting things off and then never doing them. At the end of the Summer, I blame the fact that I have been on holiday or out with my friends, for my lack of studying or doing anything useful. I don't know what's wrong with me.On the last few days of school, when I was doing my final tests I promised myself that I would be more prepared when I came back at the end of August. It's funny because I actually believed that I would do it.

I thought I'd spend my Summer doing this;


But instead I've spent my Summer doing things like this;










Or this;










It's mostly the last one if I'm quite honest. One time I woke up with a frozen pizza next to my bed. I don't really want to know how it got there. I'm so weird....

I guess what I'm saying is, don't end up like me. I hope ya'll are having a wonderful Summer. Mine may be uneventful but, I am enjoying the parts I am awake for.

~Zoe

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Update And Apology

Hello readers. I suppose I should start with an apology and maybe and explanation, as to where I've been for the past two weeks or so. I'm sorry I haven't been writing as much lately. I haven't really had the time, or been able to get my head in the right place, as I've been going through some tough home problems lately. I do, however, have some ideas for entries that I hope to get out soon. I am also open to suggestions so, if you have anything you would like me to write about you can tell me in a comment or contact me through Facebook.

I do try to draft ideas whenever I get the chance. It's just been a bit hard to get out the finished product. Also, I will be on holidays next week so I may not get to write as much as I'd like. On the plus side, I may be vlogging the trip so, look out for that. Also I now have a Tumblr account so, if you'd like you can check that out here. Here is a taste of what you will see there;


















I don't think you could stay mad at me for posting that, could you?

I hope you enjoyed this little update thing. If you could enjoy it. Also, I've hit over 600 views which is pretty insane and unexpected for a blog like mine. I would just like to say a huge thanks to whoever is reading this. I know I have like five readers. I honestly don't know who the rest of you are. Unless my friends are just being nice and refreshing the page. I have no idea.

~Zoe

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Lake Blogging

This entry was written yesterday at the edge of Lough Rea. Fun.

13-7-13

It's hot. There's water everywhere. People are lying out in the sun. It's like Hawaii. It's not Hawaii though, it's Ireland. People look forward to this event every year. The one week of sun and heat, brings people together for BBQs, trips to the beach and last minute holidays. Everyone loves the sun. Not me though. I was dragged to this lakeside against my will. It was nice at first. Clean water, snorkeling, boogie boarding. It was quite delightful. Then the sun came out...

For anyone who didn't know, the sun and I don't have a very nice relationship. He always seems to pick on me. To avoid the torture of being burnt alive, (damn this semi ginger hair I have some how obtained) I got out of the water and ate. And ate.

So now, to avoid pure boredom, I am drafting my next blog. On my phone. *professional*. Everyone else is having fun in the sun, and I'm here wrapped up in a blanket, writing. I can barely see my screen, yet all I can think about is how much I would love a big, greasy, dirty burger. Do I ever think of anything else? I just hope that we don't get attacked by terrorists or something because, the dreaded pins and needles have struck. For the 9th time today.

~Zoe


Friday, 5 July 2013

Sleepy Blog

I'm in the mood to write so, God only knows how this will turn out. It is currently 12:12 am, and I've just made one of my childish, "when the hour matches the minute", wishes. (10:10, 11:11 etc). I always used to wish for the same thing, over and over. Now, I have decided to change the wish that I had been asking for, for the past 4 years. Now all I wish for is simply to be happy. I wish that that my year of being 17, will be much better than my year of being 16. The ages of 15 and 16 were quiet horrible, to be honest. Each full with, death, heartbreak and lost friends. On the bright side, I don't feel trapped as I had before. I am enjoying exposing myself to new people and experiences. Little things like, attempting to colour my hair with pastels or trying a new genre of games than what I'd be used to, have made life just a little bit sweeter for me.

I don't know if this sleepy blog is really going anywhere, or if it even makes sense. I probably should be sleeping, but the urge to write consumed me. That is something that happens a lot lately. The urge to get my ideas down on paper distracts me from doing other things, but I'm too lazy to actually get a pen, and physically write it. Or type it. I feel like my imagination is wasted on me and should have been given to someone with more enthusiasm or energy. Then again, my imagination is the only thing I really can rely on to keep me going. I've started to realize, that the people who you look up to and respect the most, will not always stick by you forever. Some times they just seem to vanish. Whether it's caused by me, themselves or some greater power, is beyond my knowledge.

For some reason, I've just found myself reading facts about beards. Apparently, stroking your beard increases concentration and your ability to remember things. Interesting.



















Completely off topic but, I found that amusing.

And on that note, I believe it's time for bed. Ciao. Or should I say Chao? (If you get that, I love you)

~Zoe



Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Dear Girls..

Dear girls,

In case there was any confusion, I too am a member of the female gender. Although, I am proud to be a girl and encourage all other girls to be proud of themselves, our gender has a pretty stupid way of thinking. A lot of you will probably disagree but, I would like to share my view on my generation of females. The following are just things that I have noticed about myself and the female world, I am forever trapped in.

I've spent a majority of my life hanging out with the male species, and I've learned that they are pretty stupid. (no offence). So girls, please answer me this; when you like a boy, why do you pay attention to every other male on the planet besides the one you like? You then complain that you never get to talk to him or spend time with him. How do you expect him to know your interested if you completely blank him? I tend to do this too, and I don't know why. Also, I've seen girls belittle the crap out of boys they like. Why? Why are you trying to make him hate you? Also, why are you openly cavorting with other boys right in front of him? Seriously, I don't understand this. I'm trying to look at this from the point of view of a male, and it makes no sense to me. Even I do it and its a complete enigma to me.

So, you want people to respect you and like you for who you are? Then stop whoring yourself out. Girls in first year, stop letting boys take advantage of you. It's not cool, it's not sexy, you're 12. It's fucked up. If you want people to like you, stop making your face look like the inside of a Doritos bag. Stop acting drunk. Stop saying how you're so "in love" with your boyfriend of 2 days.

Girls, if you do have a boyfriend and if you decide you want to break up with him, don't start using other boys to try make him jealous. You've decided you no longer want him in your life. Stop flirting with someone else's boyfriend and hanging out with other guys and posting the pictures on Facebook. If he dumped you, he probably doesn't care. If you decide that you made a mistake and you want to get back together, fair enough, but don't make up and break up more than 3 times in a month. That's the unwritten rule. 3 times is pushing it as it is. Then you wonder why no one will take your relationship seriously. How can they take it seriously if you don't?

Ah, that little rant was fun. Haters come at me! Oh, and one more thing; fuck off with the ask.fm and the "omg I'm so ugly" pictures.

Have a smashing day ;)

~Zoe


Tuesday, 25 June 2013

I Matured?!

I've realized something over the past few days. I think I..do I dare say it? I think I'm starting to grow up. I don't necessarily feel older but, I've realized a lot of the decisions I've been making lately are more...mature than normal. For example:

  •  My mother gave me money to buy sweets. I took the money and bought shampoo.
  • I planned to spend my birthday money on Playstation games. Now I want to put the money in a savings account.
  • I've started wearing make-up.
  • Now, instead of impulse buying, I like to make sure I'm getting value for money and wonder if I could return the product, if it wasn't "adequate".
  • Things like Sonic, Adventure Time and Spongebob, all seem completely stupid and a waste of time to me now.
  • I cleaned for fun. That was the final straw.
What is wrong with me? Yes, I'm turning 17 on Saturday but, I don't think I can just randomly mature over night. Can I? Now a days, people don't fully mature until they're in their 20's. Worrying about my future actually keeps me awake at night now. What the hell? Yesterday, I gave my cousin a geography lecture in a field because I thought it might benefit her. I should have been making a daisy chain.

Seems like the ideal way to celebrate this momentous occasion. *sarcasm* 

I remember writing about how growing up scares me. It does. I don't feel like this post makes much sense. I told myself I wouldn't ramble or fill the post with pictures and memes. Oh well.

I will leave you with that. I'm going to go drink some tea and possibly read the paper. Something is most definitely wrong.

~Zoe



Wednesday, 19 June 2013

The Boat Story


Um..hi! Don't give me that look, I know I've been gone for ages. This time I have a valid excuse! Well, I think it's valid. You see, I was being a good Zoe and was blogging almost everyday. I was trying to put out a blog a few days ago which was going to include lots of pictures, because who doesn't like pictures? Anyway,whatever way they synced to my computer they wouldn't upload properly to the blog. So after about half an hour of trying, I just gave up and scrapped that blog idea. Then it took me four days to come up with something else. I do apologize, but I am kind of busy at the moment. That may or may not be a lie. You'll know if I'm lying if you know me personally. Super smiley face.

So, I was searching through my box of stand-up comedy notes, and came across a little memoir type thing of a day I spent on a boat. I thought I might share it with you because, although I did freak out a little (or a lot) this one experience helped me beat my hydrophobia. (Maybe not, I'm still kind of scared to learn how to swim). I call it, "The Boat Story". How original.

The Boat Story

One day, last Summer, my family decided to take a trip down the River Shannon on my uncle's boat. It was like a small fishing boat, I suppose, and it was my first time to ever be on a boat like this, or any boat in general. I'm not going to lie. I was really nervous. I was nervous of that fact that at any moment, the boat could capsize and I'm, well, dead. So, my uncle came to pick us up at the pier..thingy (as you can see I'm not a very experienced fisher..woman), and we awkwardly got in. There's always that fear that the boat will  start to move away when you've only got one foot in. If you look down and see the tiniest gap between the boat and the pier, you're going to start screaming and panicking, and of course, you look like a complete idiot.

So, we got in the boat and we sat down, and my uncle gave each of us a life jacket, which I find are a bit ironic. Although they are a life saving tool, you almost strangle yourself to death trying to put them on. It feels like you're being put into a straight jacket and being choked at the same time.

We started of on our "journey", and we're looking at levees and meanders (oooh geography), and lots of weeds and stuff, and it's all calm enough. I began to relax and start joking with my cousin and thinking "Well this is all fine. There's no danger here." After a while, we decided it was getting late and my uncle went to turn the boat around and take us back to shore. Then the engine died out, and wouldn't restart, so we were stranded in the middle of no where! (Slight exaggeration). My uncle went to try and fix the engine and I was starting to panic a little. I wasn't showing it but, I was starting to freak out. Then, I noticed my cousin had randomly starting singing the theme song for Titanic. She thought it would lighten the mood. Perhaps, "I Will Survive" would have been more fitting.

We did, of course, make it back alive. I don't think I will go on a boat again for a long time. I have gone canoeing since though. Maybe I thought it would be safer? That's just my logic.

~Zoe

Friday, 14 June 2013

Rambling About Games and PS4

This is probably going to be another rambling post. I'm sorry, but I'm a bit too lazy to finish the "People I Look Up To" posts, and my internet isn't working as it should, so it's hard enough to even get an entry posted. If I happen to go missing in the next couple of days, I do apologize. It will probably be because I have just given up trying to use such a bad internet connection. My internet has been painfully slow since Tuesday, which is when I wrote last. Hmm, what have I been doing lately?

Did anyone else stay up on Monday night to watch the Sony press conference at E3? (I think it was Monday night) I stayed up with two friends of mine to watch, and didn't get to bed until 4:30 am. I have to say I did enjoy it. There were mixed reactions between my friends and I, especially when it came to The Last of Us and Gran Turismo 6. Personally, I think The Last of Us looks awesome. I probably won't get it, but it doesn't look bad. Beyond Two Souls..can't wait for that. I did, however, miss the conference for Saints Row IV, but I did get it commentated to me, so that's fine. If you are a fan of Saints Row pleeeeeeease contact me so we can freak out together. Pwease?

Before all the games, they did show the console. (I think it was before the games. IT WAS LIKE 2 AM, LEAVE ME ALONE). I didn't like it at first, but it's growing on me. There's this awesome blue light that goes around the console. I'm guessing it comes on when it's powered on. (Well durr). I'm not very good with details, so if you want to know more..look it up yourself! Whoop, there it is:













Continuing on the subject of games, my Sonic game did survive! So yeah, I've been addicted to that for the past few days.













What am I doing with my life?

I have also set up a Facebook page for this blog. You can check that out here or you can follow my personal Twitter here . Give me a like or a follow maybe? Whatever floats your boat. Do feel free to get in contact and we can..talk and..fangirl it out together.

~Zoe

(This blog seems so short but it took ages to put together. Damn you internet!)

Tuesday, 11 June 2013

Rambling About Rain

Hello, you wonderful people. It's currently raining outside and it's put a damper on my whole day. (No pun intended). Yes folks, always happy Zoe (HA!) is in a foul mood. I think it's because, my prized Sonic game for GBA got wet and is probably broken. What happened was, my parents were complaining that I was always in my room. I am not ALWAYS in my room. I'm working. (writing, editing, blogging etc). They don't seem to understand that. So, to get this fresh air I seem to need so bad, I opened my window as wide as it would go. Shortly after, I left the office (bedroom) to hang out with my nephew, and it started to rain. I didn't think anything of it at first. This is Ireland, rain is not an unusual thing to see here. After dinner, I came back to finish off a short story I've been writing and noticed that my poor Game Boy had been left in the window, and some crazed rain managed to get inside and drench it. So, I went around the house, awfully flustered, looking for a way to salvage the game, without letting any more water into the cartridge or console. I'm currently waiting for it to dry. I'll keep you updated as soon as I know more. (Like you care).

And if that wasn't bad enough, (oh here we go), my camera is also malfunctioning. I think it's possessed. When I turn it on, it glitches and the lens goes crazy, protruding and extruding when it feels like it. Watching it is like watching a shitter version of Paranormal Activity (if that's possible). 


Although, I did find a gif of Stitch dressed as Elvis Presley online that cheered me up slightly.


This wasn't the blog I had planned for today but, I felt like complaining. Smiley face.



Au revoir mon ami, a demain. (perhaps)


~Zoe

(I decided to try out a new font. Meh.)

Who I Look Up To

As you already may have guessed, I'm not really a normal person. When I ask people who their hero is they say someone who has really made a difference, someone incredibly talented or their parents. I, however, have to have strange heroes. By strange, I mean, most of them don't really exist. I'm not saying I had a terrible childhood, I'm just saying my siblings were a lot older and I went to a small school, so I had only a few friends. The family I mentioned last time, lived far away so, I spent a lot of my time playing games and watching television or movies. I suppose it was only natural that I would look up to people I spent most of my time with. They may not have really existed but I learned from them, and I think that's what really matters.

As I mentioned last time, one of my childhood heroes (and still my hero today) was Amy Rose from the Sonic series. I know, I know, she's not the most exciting female character ever made, but she's sweet and loving with a serious attitude. She taught me that you would do anything for someone you really love, including putting yourself in danger. I've been there, so I know.










I also remember looking up to Sam from Totally Spies. She was smart and ginger. What's not to like? She was a real leader, even if she did get a bit jealous at times. I think I saw a bit of myself in her. She was the best out of the three, so shut up.












Finally, for people who don't really exist is Alexis Rhodes from Yu-Gi-Oh GX. She's probably where my feminism comes from, to be quite honest. No matter who put her down, Lex always came out fighting. She was one of the more strong female characters who didn't always have her tits out, which is unusual for an anime. Her deck was full of female monsters too, and I just thinks she proves that women don't always need men to fight their battles. (cool the feminism Zoe)


















Kohta Hirano also thought me that if you believe in yourself, you can do anything, despite what other people think.















(If you haven't watched High School of the Dead, go watch it. What are you doing?!)

I think that's it for now. I do have some real life heroes, but I think I'll leave that until next time!

~Zoe

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Things I Did As A Child

I don't think I'm the only one who enjoys being a teenager and having a certain amount of freedom without all the bills and boring adult stuff. I do look back and wish that it was socially acceptable, to still act like a child. I am a child at heart and I think I always will be. I was thinking about my childhood, in the early hours of this morning, and thought I might share some of my fondest memories of being a child.

A lot of the stuff I am going to mention, you will probably have done yourself. Well I hope you have. Ok, maybe you haven't. I was a weird child.

When I was a kid, I spent a lot of time playing outside. I know it might be hard to believe, but it's true. I was always the leader of my group of friends, and I was always blamed for the mischief we got up to. My closest friends as a child, were probably my own family. In particularly, my cousins. There were seven girls and one boy, so at times, he would be forced into playing house or making daisy chains but, I don't think he minded so much. I was always the one who would find a buttercup and demand to hold it to someone's chin to see if they liked butter. The yellow glow appeared on almost everybody, and I wouldn't accept the face that "the buttercup thing doesn't actually work". In fact, I remember having this conversation with my cousin one summer. Poor girl.

Me; Yay, you like butter!
Her; No I don't, you know I don't.
Me; The buttercup says you do.
Her; I don't.
Me; The buttercup says. Don't lie to me.

I used to love danger as a child. I remember, we were looking for a spot to build a tree house and I nominated myself, as the one to take on the dangerous mission of finding a suitable spot. In one day, I fell into a drain, waded through nettles and fell from a tree, grazing the whole inside of my thigh. As soon as I'd stopped pumping blood, I was straight back out there, never giving up. I sound like a war hero. I never did find a good spot.

Since, I was the leader (and obsessed with Sonic), we used to play "Sonic Heroes". It was basically a game of house, just we took on the names and personas of Sonic characters. I was always Amy Rose. I think it's a bit sad to have a game character as a role model. She's still one of my role models today. Problem? Yeah, I didn't think so. I'll go all Piko Piko Hammer on yo ass.

Of course, I had my games as a child. I think the first console we got was the Sega Megs Drive, where I was introduced to games such as Sonic the Hedgehog, Street Fighter, Revenge of Shinobi (best game ever). I think I had Golden Axe but I can't be sure. We also had a soccer game, which was the funniest game I have ever played. Just because all the players looked the same and the goalies for penalty shoot out were retarded. Then, we got the PS1 but, I've already told you about that.

I remember, my mother went away on holidays and brought us home, a plug and play controller. It could have been a Power Player Super Joy but again, I can't be sure. I can't really remember that, to be honest. All I remember was playing a soccer game with my brother, and laughing my ass off because the players looked like they were dancing. Oh the joys of our youth.

~Zoe




Wednesday, 5 June 2013

The Seven Deadly Sins

I'm going to Hell. What a lovely way to open an entry. Seriously though, I think I'm screwed. I don't know why but, I found myself thinking about the Seven Deadly Sins (not the movie, the actual things). Now, I'm not a very religious person. I have my own set of beliefs and that's fine for me. I just thought it might be fun to see how many of the deadly sins I have done. It wasn't as fun as I thought...

1. Greed. 

I don't actually think I'm a greedy person. I would like to have money, obviously, who doesn't? It's not really an important thing to me though. I like food but, not in obsessive amounts. I think I'm ok for this one.

2. Gluttony

Honestly, I didn't know what "gluttony" was. So I took the liberty (I love that word ever since Lauren Winter)of looking it up. The definition of "gluttony" is "habitual eating to excess". I don't really do that so here's a picture of a fat cat, with a mustache, eating a cookie;










3. Lust

I'm not a lustful person. Damn that cake...I mean..quiet you. The only time I was lustful, was when I had a crush on someone I shouldn't have. I can't say who because they might read this blog. Oh hai there. You look damn fine today.

4. Envy

Or, jealously. Whatever floats your boat. Ok, I will admit. I am the most jealous person you could meet. Not necessarily for material things, I am just a jealous friend and girlfriend. I won't show you that I'm jealous. I will just kill the person you have been spending time with instead of me. Send me to Azkaban. See if I care.

5. Sloth

I laughed my ass off at this. Seriously, this is sin. It's about being slow or lazy to do things. Procrastination? I think so.

6. Wrath

Angry revenge? Ha...ha..ha....Now why would I ever hurt people on purpose who pissed me off..ha..oh you.












7. Pride

What do I of all people have to be proud of? I have a platinum trophy and you don't friend. You know who you are. Smiley face.

Maybe I'm not going to Hell after all? Nah..I probably am! Sucks to be me.

~Zoe

Tuesday, 4 June 2013

Just A Random Summer Ramble

I know, I know, I haven't written in days. I'm sorry. I'm sure you had no idea what to do with your life in my absence. I apologize. The reason I haven't wrote anything in a while is because I was out enjoying the Summer. When I say that, I mean I was in bed playing Sonic the Hedgehog since the weekend. I did get some sun, but it just messed up my skin as usual. Maybe if I actually did tan, I would bother to go outside in the sun.

When the sun disappeared for a bit, I went outside and took this photo;


That's my dog, Rusty. Enjoy him. Not like that! God!

I did manage to drag myself from my room and went shopping. That's how I got my hands on the Sonic game, that is currently ruining my life. I would love to go on a ramble about it but, no-one would understand what I was talking about. If you have played Sonic the Hedgehog '06 version, please contact me. We could be friends.

I also have realized how close it is getting to my birthday! For once I can't wait because I should be getting some awesome stuff. I'm turning 17. Wow. Finding Nemo came out 10 years ago. Ouch.

I hope you're all having a wonderful Summer so far, and I wish the best of luck to all my friends starting their Junior and Leaving certs tomorrow! The sooner they're over the better. The Facebook statuses are getting kind of annoying..

~Zoe

Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Thinking About..Friends

Today, I will be talking about friends. I think having good friends is a necessity, in people our ages, lives. Most of my friends are boys, which can be a struggle at times because they don't seem to understand how the female mind works. They think they do, bless their cotton socks.

Having a group of boys as friends can have its advantages. I think I am half boy. I have a sister who is very girly and a brother who is a "manly man", so I suppose it was only natural I turned out this way. I am a bit of a nerd. I fangirl over things my friends don't even know I enjoy. But then again, I think there has to be a level of secrecy or they'd think I was completely weird. Well, we all are kind of weird, but I guess that's why we clique so well.

I do have some friends who are girls, but I really do enjoy male company more. My female friends aren't really full of drama, like most people like me would say, but I just feel more relaxed around boys. I think we have more in common.

Of course, there are times when I want to let my inner girl out, and I have friends for that too. I think I have friends to fit every need I have. Whether it's just for fun or if it's for a serious conversation about life, I have someone for everything. I make it sound like I went out searching for people to fit these needs, but it's just that each of my friends is unique. I think it's our strangeness to everyone else that brought us together.

I do plan to go into my friends in more detail, but I just got the Hunger Games on DVD. So damn professional.

~Zoe

Tuesday, 28 May 2013

Finished School (For The Summer)

I think I'm one of the only people who didn't want school to end today. Maybe it was because it ended a way I wasn't use to. We had tests. All day. On the last day. Not cool.

So, I was sitting there chilling after my biology test. There was still an hour and a half to go. I did, of course, do the paper to "the best of my ability" (if you go to my school you'll get that). Just sitting there, staring at a wall, got me thinking. Why don't I just have fun with this? It's the last day and I'm probably going to fail the paper anyway. I couldn't help myself. I came up with the following "humorous" answers to some of the questions. I do warn you though. My sense of humor is drier than...a towel that hasn't been used yet.

The questions were quite stupid to be fair.

1. Suggest why one eye is better than one.
Because one eye would look stupid.

2. Give four factors that influence the size of the human population.
Sweets, Mini Coopers, shops making there clothes too small and McDonalds.

3. What term is used to describe an animal that is killed and eaten?
Slow.

4. Why is one chamber of the heart thicker than the other?
Leave him alone, he didn't try very hard at school.

I really did want to write some of these down. I suppose it's a given you won't find these funny but when you're sitting in an exam hall for and hour and a half, and all you have for entertainment is a light up pen to play "lumos/nox" with anything and everything will give you a giggle. It's not like science has done much for us anyway :)

~Zoe



Sunday, 26 May 2013

Thinking About...Today's Life Lessons

Today's entry isn't going to be anything amazing. (when is it ever amazing says you). Today I have learned that I am a terrible procrastinator. I mean terrible. The definition of "procrastination" is; "To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness." or "To postpone or delay needlessly". Postpone means to put off something but it will be done eventually. The thing is, once I put something off it never gets done. I have study I was planning on doing for the past four days. I didn't do it. Instead I played Minecraft. I'm writing this as a form of procrastination. 

Today I have also learned that pillows do not make good tables. To a normal person that would have been a given. Turns out they are quite squishy. I felt like I was in the Tweenies art corner. Although my fingers may be turning blue because of the constant drop in temperature in this room, I feel that I am not yet going to turn into Bella.

Sub lesson; Bella was a bitch. 

I also learned that I am more camera shy than I thought. I was all set up to make a video today (I had my camera and my stand and everything all ready) and I could physically not bring myself to turn on the camera. Fuck knows why. 

I am now going to teach myself Portuguese. Procrastination is truly a horrible thing.

~Zoe


Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Why Being A Gamer Girl Sucks

The internet lies to me on a daily basis. There's always things about what boys think is the "perfect girl". Emma Watson's face, Angelina Jolie's body, sandwiches and being a gamer. It's all lies. Well I guess, who wouldn't want Emma Watson as a girlfriend? I'm getting a bit off track...

Being a gamer girl sucks because it is (almost always) a first class ticket to the "friendzone" with any boy. Gamer boys tend to say "Oh I'd love a girl who wouldn't mind staying in and playing COD with me instead of going out". My ideal date is a Playstation, a cuddle and a bag of chips. Why isn't there a queue of boys at my door? I also make a mean pizza sandwich. Just saying.

Maybe I run into all these problems because don't know what a real gamer girl is like? The internet lies to them too. If you type "gamer girls" into Google images, half naked chicks come up. That's not a gamer girl. That's a slut with a controller. Fair enough, I'm not the most patient or the most intelligent gamer in the world, but I'm willing to learn and I enjoy the experience. I couldn't give 2 Wumpa fruit's if you say "that doesn't make you a gamer". Maybe I'm not. My friends gave me the privilege of the title "gamer girl", not me. It's just something to think about. Maybe people should start being more realistic.

Know the difference.




Love ye's

~Zoe

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Thinking About..Growing Up

I've wanted to write about this for a while but even writing about it scares me. Growing up scares me. I don't  take life too seriously and now I've gotten to the point where not knowing what I want to do for a living is stressing me out. I have one year left in school. Then what? Having a "fuck it be grand" attitude doesn't seem to go down well.

I have commitment issues. Anyone who I've ever been even remotely romantically involved with never knew that. Well everyone knows now. Being tied down to people or jobs or whatever freaks me out. Having to be committed to raising children..don't even get me started on that. I would like to go to college, don't get me wrong, but I change my mind all the time. I don't have the brain power for more than one course or class.

My plans for after school (for now) is to study media or film making or screenplay writing..any of that fancy shit. I'd also like to be a comedienne. That's not very realistic. I have plans to live with a friend. That scares me. I think I'm too much of a free spirit to be bugged down by bills and responsibilities. I can't work the washing machine, and I don't think asking my mom to move in is in the room mate agreement. I don't like working when it's not something I like. I don't like customers. I worked for a week in an electrical shop and it was fricking awesome. I sold a toaster. I'm not sure that's what I'd like to do for the rest of my life though.

I suppose life in general scares me.

~Zoe